The summer solstice always hits me like a ton of bricks. How is it we’re speeding into the tail end of June already? How does it manage to be such a spectacle every year? Similar feelings, thoughts and smile come to me every year on this same day, but this year there was a different vibe, the whole week had been setting me up for a major shift, and it’s been hard not to be swept away in it all. I’ll explain:
Last Friday I spent a morning with a Homeopath, because for the last 6 months or so I’ve felt generally unwell all the time despite me being clinically normal, who just by talking to me for an hour and a half and making me cry some ugly tears admittedly, made me feel on top of the world. It takes a considerable amount of energy for me to get genuinely excited about something and I was literally vibrating waiting for my remedy to arrive, because if I felt this good now who knows what I would feel like in a week’s time! Monday was finished before I could even blink, and I found out I had nailed my interview the week before and start my job as a permanent full-time employee next month. I was brimming with mojo and positive energy and, as daft as this will sound, it all came together in this big whirlwind of energy when I was reunited with my pixie cut on Friday.
The whole week was just a build up of things that made me realise I am not the same Em I was last week; my flair, love and excitement for the things I enjoy doing were just there one morning. I’ve been emboldened, stepping out of my comfort zone with abandon and a gleeful smile on my face. Old learned behaviours that have been the bane of my entire life are cracked, flaking away to reveal a Me who can revel in her identity and the things she enjoys and shrug off comments from those who don’t yet or want to understand.
Saturday was the first time since I was about 15 that I sat down and painted. I was so thrilled I’d wanted to create something that I made it into my “three t’s journal” only by happenstance as I originally thought I had bought a sketchbook *face-palms*. It’s not a work of art by any standards but I created that, and it brings me joy.
To the Homeopath, I felt like I was going through a transformation of myself, who I thought I was isn’t who I am becoming. To my hairdresser I was transfiguring, cutting away at this dead wood was going to allow me to be new. To myself, there was something magical about this whole week, and the idea of transmogrifying is a slightly scary one but I do think it’s something that’s happening. So that’s been my week so far!
Sundays are for tarot predictions, something fun I enjoy that are normally scarily accurate (I get mine from Margaret Wells at Trusted Tarot) and this week I drew two Major Arcana cards. Death, and The Hermit which seemed pretty fitting!
- Drawing Death at this time means a transitory period is upon me; it reminds me that in order to pursue a fresh start it requires the release of the old.
- Drawing The Hermit at this time means I may be at risk of burning out if I don’t temper my forward propulsion with recuperation.
So to this whirlwind of magic I’m finding myself in currently, bring it all on; I’m excited to see what part it’s going to reveal to me next!