Sunday Musings #2

♫ “Fall” (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim) – Jeremy Soule

It seems a little silly listening to this track on repeat today while I, and the rest of the country I assume, wonders where Saturdays balmy sun has gone; why am I wishing for Autumn when I’m so desperate for some Summer sun? Please make up your mind Ems!

Saturday was dedicated to meandering around Westbury Court Gardens, a gorgeous example of Dutch water gardens, unassumingly nestled on the side of the A48 and the River Severn, and it may be my new favourite haunt.

You can wander flanked by both hedge and flower, watch the koi carp race towards you mouths open expectantly or read the day away beneath the shade of a 300+ year old Oak or Tulip tree, which we were fortunate enough to see in bloom. Who knew tulips bloomed on trees?! I can imagine spending many a Summer day with a picnic in this place getting my freckle on, watching birds flit and fly between the vegetable or herb gardens, watching the hours melt away. But for today I’ve had to settle for the balcony doors wide open listening to the (Angory) Tom and Simon The Sinking City play-through as the seagulls squawk and chatter away, which always gives me Seaside envy!

I also had my pixie trimmed and coloured first thing in the morning, so I was feeling especially perky and Summery all over again. I adored the red but with hair this short I feel like it was a little too severe for my features, whereas this dirty blonde is more whimsical, if that makes sense!

I managed to get to my local Hobbycraft today and indulged in some more acrylic paint and (finally!) some acrylic pads after my previous faux-pas! It’s so nice to have a relaxing hobby to enjoy again, maybe when I’m more confident in my scribbles I’ll share them on the ‘gram, but until then I’m quite happy just enjoying them myself!

I really can’t believe that it’s the 1st of July tomorrow, and while I don’t know what this week will bring, I do have a few goals for the month:

  • Go to Yoga and Pilates 3 times a week (minimum) – I’m conscious of how little, scratch that, how I don’t do any exercise at all, so I need to start something and somewhere. I’m hoping I’ll be able to do some basic aerobics by the end of the month too!
  • Drink 3 of my water bottles everyday – for hydration!
  • Take my own lunch and coffee into work 4 days a week
  • Savings – Put the money I would normally spend on coffee and work lunch into a savings account (daily spends) and watch it grow by the end of the month
  • Take more photos – I’d love to be better at photography and with my S10 in tow, I feel like as far as mobile photography is concerned, it could give me a good base for better things. I’m hoping to use my coffee and lunch savings to pay for a nice new camera once the January sales roll around!

I hope you all had a chance to get out in the sun wherever you are, and have a great week ahead!

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Sunday Musings: Summer Solstice, and the Three T’s

The summer solstice always hits me like a ton of bricks. How is it we’re speeding into the tail end of June already? How does it manage to be such a spectacle every year? Similar feelings, thoughts and smile come to me every year on this same day, but this year there was a different vibe, the whole week had been setting me up for a major shift, and it’s been hard not to be swept away in it all. I’ll explain:

Last Friday I spent a morning with a Homeopath, because for the last 6 months or so I’ve felt generally unwell all the time despite me being clinically normal, who just by talking to me for an hour and a half and making me cry some ugly tears admittedly, made me feel on top of the world. It takes a considerable amount of energy for me to get genuinely excited about something and I was literally vibrating waiting for my remedy to arrive, because if I felt this good now who knows what I would feel like in a week’s time! Monday was finished before I could even blink, and I found out I had nailed my interview the week before and start my job as a permanent full-time employee next month. I was brimming with mojo and positive energy and, as daft as this will sound, it all came together in this big whirlwind of energy when I was reunited with my pixie cut on Friday.

The whole week was just a build up of things that made me realise I am not the same Em I was last week; my flair, love and excitement for the things I enjoy doing were just there one morning. I’ve been emboldened, stepping out of my comfort zone with abandon and a gleeful smile on my face. Old learned behaviours that have been the bane of my entire life are cracked, flaking away to reveal a Me who can revel in her identity and the things she enjoys and shrug off comments from those who don’t yet or want to understand.

Saturday was the first time since I was about 15 that I sat down and painted. I was so thrilled I’d wanted to create something that I made it into my “three t’s journal” only by happenstance as I originally thought I had bought a sketchbook *face-palms*. It’s not a work of art by any standards but I created that, and it brings me joy.

To the Homeopath, I felt like I was going through a transformation of myself, who I thought I was isn’t who I am becoming. To my hairdresser I was transfiguring, cutting away at this dead wood was going to allow me to be new. To myself, there was something magical about this whole week, and the idea of transmogrifying is a slightly scary one but I do think it’s something that’s happening. So that’s been my week so far!

Sundays are for tarot predictions, something fun I enjoy that are normally scarily accurate (I get mine from Margaret Wells at Trusted Tarot) and this week I drew two Major Arcana cards. Death, and The Hermit which seemed pretty fitting!

  • Drawing Death at this time means a transitory period is upon me; it reminds me that in order to pursue a fresh start it requires the release of the old.
  • Drawing The Hermit at this time means I may be at risk of burning out if I don’t temper my forward propulsion with recuperation.

So to this whirlwind of magic I’m finding myself in currently, bring it all on; I’m excited to see what part it’s going to reveal to me next!

A Promise to Books

Teenage Ems would have the biggest strop on with me right now. I’m talking inconsolable tears, things thrown across the room and screaming hellfire at me – PURE MELTDOWN MATERIAL – and I don’t blame her one bit. You see, in my prime, I could probably get through a book in 4-5 days and truthfully, I’ve only read about 6 since I left school in 2010, and I can only recall two of the authors (Brené Brown and Ray Celestin), so what happened to me?What had once meant so much to me I had turned into a waste of time; why should I be sitting around reading when I could be cleaning, working, doing something constructive? Overnight it turned from a joy into something self-indulgent and felt selfish.

It breaks my heart to look back at the 9 years since I left Sixth Form and to think of the worlds I haven’t visited, characters not yet met and the feeling of being so immersed into a story I’m left reeling. The ineffable gladness I feel scrolling through the #bookstagram tag on Insta, and the reminder from my Nanny and Dad this weekend gone that I can still be that 17 year old and fall head over heels in love with books again is enough of a jolt for me to do something about it.

So here is a promise to books, and to 17 year old me: I’m sorry I forgot you, I’m sorry I forgot the adventures we had, but now I’ve found you again I won’t let you out of my sight. That’s a promise.

If My Life Had a Soundtrack #1

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will never be a bonafide Southern Belle; it doesn’t matter how many times I’m called a real peach, or how many times I’ve started casually dropping ‘y’all’ into casual conversation like the poser I never wanted to be, I know I’m not one or will I ever be. Darn.

What I do have, however, is imagination; I’m wearing my favourite Daisy Dukes, got 650 AM WSM on full blast and Liptons iced tea chilling in the fridge because let’s be honest making it from scratch is a massive faff. I don’t have the drawl or the boots or the tan, but sat in the bank holiday sun, balcony doors wide open watching the sun beam down on people while they dodge the resident seagulls, life is good and just for a little while I can pretend to be Country.

Click on the image above to go straight to my current country playlist, but here are the tracks below. Naturally there are some cheesy classics, but who doesn’t love a bit of Dolly or Billy Ray?

Tennessee Whiskey – Chris Stapleton
Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
Church Bells – Carrie Underwood
Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
American Honey – Lady Antebellum
9-5 – Dolly Parton
My Church – Maren Morris
H.O.L.Y – Florida Georgia Line
Strip It Down – Luke Bryan
Parachute – Chris Stapleton
Fine – Kacey Musgraves
Accidentally on Purpose – The Shires
Slow Burn – Kacey Musgraves
God’s Country – Blake Shelton
Good Girl – Carrie Underwood
Kiss My Country Ass – Blake Shelton
Choctaw County Affair – Carrie Underwood

Happy Easter y’all, Ems x